Before I can even began to explain my choice of title, some background information maybe needed...first we will began with last night, and slowly get to the reason for my title choice and it will all come together and make sense...well as much sense as anything else....
Last night, late in the night, the kids were sounds asleep and I really should have been! I was feeling simple discouraged...there truly wasn't one thing that brought this on, but a mixture and combination of many things...and maybe just overwhelming all at once...it is very rare that I feel discouraged, as I believe that God has a reason for everything in my life, and He is glorified even when it isn't something I want to walk through...but last night even that thought just couldn't pick my spirits up....I rambled through my tears to Fabian all the mixture of "stuff" and usually the combination of the tears and rambling is more than enough, as I am not really a "cryer"...again nothing changed, I didn't "feel" any better and through my confusing rambles Fabian tried very hard to comfort me...he gave me every assurance I could possibly have ask for, and I knew those words he spoke were straight from God...but the sinking feeling in my heart just wouldn't let up, and not truly knowing the cause or reason, I was even more frustrated...I began to pray, and pray, and pray...and finally went to sleep knowing that God heard me and He was listening, and having to know it was okay to be discouraged....I just knew I could handle whatever God has ask me too, but in those moments i felt that I had dropped them all, they were mixed up and spread around and I couldn't pick them up....then morning came...I was woke up LATE, which normally would have stressed me out and had me running crazy, but I was actually a little confused and out of it, and in those moments, God covered me with HIS grace...I was filled with overwhelming and pure joy as the sounds of giggling from JJ filled the house. JJ waking up happy??? WOW that is a God thing! We turned on music and worshiped together, Kel, me, and JJ...and I tried hard to remember where my discouragement came from, and realized WHY would I search for it?!?!?! why would I even wonder the reason behind it, but just know God heard my prayers and HE took it from me, because I truly couldn't pick the mess up, I NEEDED God's help...and He answered my prayers....and has given me today, this beautiful day to celebrate His mercy and grace! Praise Him, I am so thankful!
Okay so back to the title, I am sure you wondered WHY I even named it that at all...BUT it does connect to my day!
One of the many "stresses" of my day yesterday came from my son, JJ, who most of you know has Autism and...who goes by Orange Kitten(another long story for another day) got pummeled by a classmate..I looked up the definition to "Pummel" before I chose this word and it is:
To hit or strike heavily and repeatedly....
Yep he was pummeled, in fact the example sentence reads:
"His opponent was smaller but faster, and he got pummeled"
And without a doubt this happened yesterday, which resulted in the bending of his glasses...which another missing piece of the story is that a few weeks ago he broke them when he was frustrated...and has bent them one time before yesterday...I would say discouraged was my thought as we drove to the eye doctor to get the fixed, again...but more of that has to do with the last few weeks of us losing JJ into his world, but in a very different way than ever before...and getting a new set of "tools" to work with him can be very tiring and some days discouraging, but those days I cling tight to God's promise of His plan for us....well today continued in a pattern of events that were new and not in a positive way...he had a wonderful day until the last hour where he decided to just let it go and "strike back", and anyone in the way of his path was not going to get away without being hit on or spit on or pushed or screamed at...and the glasses were thrown from the face...thankfully his teachers saved them, but he wasn't able to cope for the rest of this time...but I heard God, loud and clear as I search for what the reason for it all was, and why he was reacting this way, and where the anger came from, and how to discipline him...over all the questions I heard God say, JUST LOVE HIM...and so I did...never excusing his behaviors as okay, but reassuring him that my love was never going away, and in that God reassured me that HIS love was never going away, and while He may not excuse my behaviors, He loves me, He created me, and He is never going to leave me..and He let me pass this love onto my son, who was sitting in the office with a tear stained face, glasses on the table, shoes off, and backpack on the floor, he was in pieces and unable to express his emotions in an effective way, and all I had to do was love him.....how much more could I ask for? Throughout today God has covered me, and loved me..and through my discouraged moments from yesterday He is picking up the pieces for me when I haven't been able to hold onto them...what a lesson God taught me! And I am filled with HIS joy!
"The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17
I hope in moments of discouragement you can sing His praises, and just let God love you!
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