Distractions...

So many times in a single day distractions surround us..in fact as I sat down to start typing there have already been at least five distractions, and I have only gotten to the first sentence! But more of the distractions I was thinking about are the ones that keep us from our relationship with God...the ones that the world offers, empty and usually not beneficial to us....

Speaking from personal experiences, I know it can be one small thing that pops up in my day that takes my focus off of God, and His plan..but WOW that one tiny thing can side track me for a good part of a day...and at the end I realized I lost more in that tiny distraction that if I had just let it be...it can be disappointing.....

I am not saying that there is any magical way to avoid distractions, or that if you can somehow you are a better Christian, because there is no such thing, but I am saying that God understands about the distractions in our life...and He wants us to bring them to Him! I wish I would do this on a more consistent basis, but the fact is a small distraction can take over what I had planned to do, and I simply forget to go to Him and give it to Him, somehow I think its so small I got this one...and yet it took way too much time away from me...how silly is that!

And usually for me it is nothing that needed that much attention or time..a phone call, a conversation, some to do list, a movie, bills, a repair of some kind..whatever it might be, for me it is not worth the time I gave up that I could have been spending with God...especially the ones that do not benefit me in any way...but I do love how God pulls me back in and reminds me that HE is never leaving me, and all these distractions are temporary, and won't follow into eternity...that is a comfort!

All this to say, I know that the distraction of this world will be sure to be there tomorrow when I wake up, but I am learning how to give it to God...He handles it MUCH better than I could have ever thought of! I will be remembering that, and ask Him to help me in all the small stuff!

"Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path."

Psalm 119:105

Behind the Door of Miracles...

There are many times in my life that I have read the different stories in the Bible about the miracles that Jesus performed here on Earth, while He was here...helping a blind man see, healing the sick and raising the dead...and even Moses parting the sea, that was a miracle from God...and many more...I have also heard MANY people ask why God doesn't perform those miracles in that way today....and I simply respond, but He does!!!

Maybe we don't get to see Jesus walking on Earth and healing the ill, or a sea part so a man can walk through it, but that is far from the only miracles God performs...

for me, I believe a miracle is a day that I wake up and breathe in life, our bodies and the way they were so specifically created, and function, THAT IS A MIRACLE!!!! The trees that help give us life, and the flowers that bloom with sun light and water, those are all miracles....or how about how we survive the day without completely losing our minds when our children are having one of those days!?!?!? THAT IS A MIRACLE!!!

Well, I think all of us would love to see one of the miracles like the Bible talks about....but I think people have a misconception of what that may look like in today's world, with today's life...I can paint a picture for you...

this past Wednesday, my son went through one of many heart caths he has gone through since birth, and let me tell you the amount of hours I spent on my knees and in prayers is almost uncountable, and I know many of you joined me in praying! Well once again God performed a miracle in JJ's life! He is thriving and running, and for the FIRST time in his 5 1/2 years of life, he has NORMAL oxygen SATS, running 96-98!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT IS A MIRACLE!!! But the miracles in JJ's life, and our life began from the moment he breathed in life....when I was pregnant we were told he had something very close to HLHS, but with several complications that they wouldn't label him with that...I prayed everyday and night for a miracle, that God would heal his heart. I prayed alone, I prayed in groups, and I prayed with the elders and pastors of our church home...and God heard my prayers, and HE answered them....

JJ didn't come out with a perfectly healed heart, but he has a text book case of HLHS, yes still severe, but without the additional complications the doctors knew what to do!! YES THAT IS A MIRACLE... a heart can NOT changed that far along in the womb, it can only grow, and this baffled the doctors, who had to check to see if they somehow messed up his paperwork! ahhhh! THAT IS GOD!!! And I love every moment where God gets ALL the glory! This past week, I had to relive every moment of every time JJ has gone through something, that is ALOT of moments, but I got to relive the miracles in those moments, and that is where I put my hope and faith! And JJ has had many moments of miracles, in fact we all have....some we know about and others we have no idea, but God stepped in for us, and He gets that glory! Kel, who is my "healthy" child, also is a miracle! God blessed me as a teen mom with a "perfect" child...no she isn't truly perfect, but everything you want in a baby/child/preteen, Kel truly is...and that is ALL God, and a true miracle!!! She came in my life at the perfect moment, and has taught me SO much about how to look at life, and the people around me!! She amazes me, and her abilities, talents, and grace, those are gifts and miracles from God!!! Both my children have taught me about life, they have a different set of instructions, and both have humbled me to know I can't do this without God!!!

BOTH ARE MIRACLES!!!

So, we made it through another stepping stone in JJ's life path...but we were privileged to see another miracle from God take place! Wow! So in the hurt, and pain, God gave us His light! This is an amazing part in my journey!

Thank you for ALL the emails, cards, texts, prayers, love..I am overwhelmed by your friendships, and support, and I am humbled by it as well!

And the best thing I can end with, is just be open to the miracles that surround you..they are everywhere, we just get too busy sometimes and miss them...

"For whatever is born of God overcomes the world;

and this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith."

1 John 5:4

Finals are FINAL!!!!

I have to say I am celebrating! Spring Semester is done! YAY!

AND 3 A's and 1 B works for me! Especially when the B is College Algebra, which

from me is like Kyrptonite is to Super Man !! AHHHHHH!

I wish I were kidding, but for some reason that is one area I just struggle with, ALGEBRA!

I really worked hard with it this semester, and I couldn't be happy, even with a B!

Overall this semester presented challenges, not all academically, but just life and school combinations...and there were a few moments that it got the better of me....and then I realized that those moments happen to all of us, whether we are balancing school and motherhood, or a job, or even just the day to day things of being a parent and life...we all struggle, and we have times where it gets the best of us. This is when we look to God, ask for His help, and move forward knowing He is walking with us!

Well FINALS ARE FINAL! I was SO ready for the semester to end, and I had all these "things" I planned to get done before this coming week, and JJ's cath...

but God knew I needed to rest and slowed me down,

and I ended up sick! And you know, I am SO thankful for that!

YES thankful I had to slow down...I made it through finals, and as much as I was ready to be done, not being able to do much the last two days has really allowed me to appreciate the classes, and the knowledge I gained through them! AND mostly just give God that glory, that He has opened this door for me to walk through, and go to school, and give me a husband and children that are so proud of me...and family and friends who call and email to check on my days and tests..WOW! That is what the last two days has allowed me to see, to appreciate, and to gear me up for the next semester! I am looking forward to fall, and excited to take this summer off, but already feeling refreshed from the last semester!

I have to say this is a door that I never knew would open for me...and I thank my aunt and uncle who encouraged me to believe I could do this....even if it took seven years later for me to see it...they opened that door, made me believe...and since then SO many people have held that door open for me....and now that I have walked through it, well it is FILLED with so many opportunities and so many faces of love and support! Thank You, Love you all...and FINALS ARE FINAL! Yay!!!!!!

The Act of Disappearing

I never intended for it to be so long between my last post and this one..I have so many stories and life that I plan to share...but then life itself can become time consuming and finding time for sleeping becomes difficult, and I am sure in one way or another you can relate to that....

it is completely true that my life has been a slight bit crazy, or to be honest just nuts! But not nuts in a bad way, in a very good way, just going in a million directions and getting no where if I am honest, and I hate that feeling!

However, I decided over last weekend I would "disappear" from the day to day distractions, and just BE

-BE still

-BE quiet

-BE patient

-BE listening

and JUST BE WITH GOD!

And I can't begin to express what that felt like...and if for one second you think it must have been wonderful and like sitting on clouds and just at peace...WRONG!

In that weekend God revealed SO much to me, about who I am, and who I am in HIM more importantly...and guess what OUCH! Not that I am a bad person, but I am reminded I still have so much growing to do, and I will never be done until I am in heaven and no it was not ALL bad, but let me be honest, it was painful!

I have come along way to get where I am, and I mean a LONG and very tough road, and I am so thankful that God has never given up on me, even when I may not have always wanted to hear Him...He stayed, and people who prayed for YEARS for me to know Christ, I am so thankful they never gave up on me....and with all my growing and learning in my years, and even more in my years as a Christian...I

can't explain why when God is growing me it still hurts.

I know that I am far from perfect, but I keep thinking at some point it will click, I will get it, and I won't fall into the same old patterns or the same thoughts...and God is so quick when I do fall, to come and just BE with me, and remind me that I am only human and HE is here to keep me growing in the right direction, growing with Him! WOW that is an awesome love and awesome Father ...and I will take that hurt in the growing times knowing that I am growing closer to Him, and away from my flesh!

Well it is kind of like a tree...I was just talking to a friend of mine, Ash, about trees...how if left alone they grow in the craziest directions, and grow extra trunks, and become mutated, and some of them eventually will die...and it is our job as the tree owner to prune them, and train them to grow in the right direction....we aren't so different from the mutated tree, if we are left on our own to grow, we become mutated, our roots grow up and not down...and eventually we die to our flesh, but with our Heavenly Father as our personal "tree owner" we can grow beautiful and reach our own full potential.....maybe that's why I love trees so much, because I can see myself in them, different stages, different colors, different ways, and without Christ, my roots would come up and I wouldn't make it.....

so my disappearing act over that weekend was one I will never forget, because EVERY moment of hurt and truth was worth the unconditional love of Christ, and HE has blessed me, and I know being obedient to Him, has indescribable rewards....

Hope each of you are having a week filled with Gods love and guidance!

"If you give up your life for me, you will find true life."

Matthew 16:25