A Taste of Heaven...

Many of you may know or do know that my life in the last few months has had many challenges...many sad moments...many happy moments...I don't like the description of a roller coaster ride, because after you get off you have this false "high" or it also may indicate moments of uncertainty...none of which I have experienced...so definitely not a roller-coaster, but has had many real heavy life situations go on...

most recently having an allergic reaction to medication..

let me say I have PRIDED (bad word) myself always answering no to any medicine allergies...in fact thankfully with all of JJ's medicines he has never had one either...I will never take that for granted again...

I can also admit I love that my life involves very little waves...okay I know some of you who have known me would laugh, because the truth is that my life has been pretty close to hurricane level, maybe even tsunami...very truthfully spoken, BUT for me I would say since I have become a Christian that God protects me from those hurricanes in life...and most of the time I barely feel the waves...what an awesome God!

I feel blessed that His love pours over me that way...

BUT I held onto the love of the waves that through these hurricanes that God stood before me, and I (catch that I?) could handle anything...

now to be clear I hand it ALL to God, and I KNOW when He allows things to happen there are POWERFUL reasons, beyond what I see...

after months of many things coming like one wave after another...I KNEW God was preparing me for a change, for growth...He was desiring MORE from me...

I have been reading through the Bible through a "voyage" my church set up, where we read M-F and we know the body of believers in reading with us....

Guess what? Satan doesn't like that...I mean he HATES it...and knowing God's word is the area I have really been working on, and where God is asking me to grow...

for the first time I heard evil...it sounded like noise...it was scary..it was satan...his evil...BUT as I screamed for him to stand behind me in the name of Jesus Christ..silence and comfort fell over me...it was Jesus holding me...protecting me...

and I opened my Bible and kept reading...

the waves kept coming...

amazingly my head never went under as God held me up...but I was still paddling with Him..

then last week JJ's week was rough, I can't begin to describe it...and I had no strength left to paddle...I stopped...I thought I just can't....then my reaction to the meds came...and I just stopped even struggling...

guess what happened???

I was floating on the water in the arms of my Savior...my God who I know will never leave me held me...

the school year has presented challenges for me each step...my school and JJ's, and Kelli's thankfully has been wonderful...with each step I Trust God fully...

but grieving and letting myself just "be" with Him and not act is a challenge...this week it was not, I just "floated" many hours with God, some in prayer, many in silence...God allowed me to just be still with Him, He held me, He loved me...and He comforted me beyond my understanding...He reminded me that the stresses in this life are only temporary and that His promises ALWAYS stand truth.... I felt God let me know that what I have been walking through was for someone else...someone who would have lost their faith or never looked for it because of this...I am often reminded of Job, and how God allowed those things because He knew Job would never turn away...and because God knows I will never turn from Him, He allows this...I PRAISE Him, because if what I walk through saves one person, gives one person salvation..I will walk through fire for them..whether I ever meet them this side of heaven... and as I prayed all week..and sat quietly...God just raised me up, lifted my spirit yesterday...and this morning... My day has been filled with laughter...the kids just being pure and we laughed a lot.. after we dropped Kel off at school... me and JJ were singing "He never lets go" with K-love and after I said.."God is good, all the time" and ask JJ to say it with me...I tried saying God is good, and get him to say all the time..of course he repeated God is good...at the time I thought oh that is just an area his brain hasn't gotten (WRONG)...

it was GOD...just keep reading...

So I said "okay JJ you say God is good and I will say all the time"

So he did, "God is good" and I replied "all the time"...again..."God is good" and I replied "all the time"..again "God is good" and I replied "all the time"

"God is good" and I replied "all the time"

"God is good" and I replied "all the time"

"God is good" and I replied "all the time"....THEN it came from the purity of a child,

GOD SPOKE

as JJ said

"God is SPECIAL" and I replied with tears in my eyes "all the time!" ..again

"God is Special" and I replied "all the time!"...then God spoke again

"God is THE VERY BEST" and I replied still teary "all the time!"

again "God is THE VERY BEST" ..I replied "all the time!"...

by this time we are shouting praises and laughing and JOY filled the car....

then he said

"God is AWESOME" and I replied with laughter and tears "all the time!"

God spoke through my child...to my heart...from the PURITY of JJ...He spoke!

It was not an accident that JJ didn't repeat me and he said God is good...because God knew He would listen to Him...and I may not hear and the descriptions of God, but He knew my child would...that is nothing less than...

a taste of heaven!