Phone Calls....

I happen to be one of the many people who I know "screen" their calls...if I don't know the number then I don't pick up 9.5 times out of 10...not saying it's good or bad, just sharing ....
so today I had a two of these events..both with their own sets of joy and tears

This morning I received the first of these calls...it was JJ's neurologist calling to confirm what we knew, but is now officially ADHD, and give us the new round of meds we would start with, the follow ups that will begin much more frequently than I anticipated .... but we are moving forward with this and trusting God as He will lead up to what we need to do next. I will share with Spring Break his anxieties have increased, along with behaviors and stress level..so if this is something that will help him feel ok in his own body, then we are thankful <3 This call brings a few tears, but joy in the hope we have to give JJ what he needs...

Then this afternoon another strange number..I almost picked this one up, but decided not too...a voicemail that began "This is___ from Grace with the Houston Missions Retreat, first Kelli is OK, I repeat nothing is wrong AT ALL, she is great"...sigh of relief as my stomach had started to turn...then the beautiful woman on the other end of the line began describing our beautiful daughter, and her heart for God, for people, for missions, for service...and what a joy she has been to this leader and the group and the people...(enter tears and joy here, all in one!) ... what a call, and I have to admit I am so thankful I didn't answer, because I wouldn't have known how to respond, or could've interrupted to comment, or JJ in the background...and now I have this beautiful voicemail of the amazing beautiful description of our Bug <3 and her heart for God and others <3 one that I can play over, and over...and have...a true blessing....
and of course I am so aware everyday that this is such a gift, FROM GOD, and I know I only play a part of being her mom, but I am so honored, and so humbled, because I know she is a glimpse of the abundant Grace that God poured in my life at the age of 16, when everything could have gone awful, God poured His grace on me, and gave me Kelli, who continues to take my breathe away as I see her, and see God changing a legacy <3

Now I don't want to discount the call for JJ either...I didn't hear a voicemail that described how wonderful he is, and amazing...I didn't hear words that shared his gifts, his talents, his blessings to others...no it was a different call, it was a clinical, blunt call that said "This is the medicine he needs to start, on this date, with these follow ups"....it wasn't one where my heart leaped in joy....but as I hung up the call, as I sat in the reality I already knew was beginning...I cried out to my God, and praised Him for His Sovereignty, for His love..and for the gift of JJ..that God trusted us to walk in JJ's journey with him, that God picked us to raise this little boy who seems to have to climb mountain tops to only take one small step, and we were given the privilege to be a part of JJ's life, which has shown us to take every piece of life to the fullest, and enjoy every moment <3 that was the reminder and gift given in this call <3

Who would have guessed as I ended a day filled with busy...that two phone calls, both went to voicemail, would be such a gift a blessing in my day..in my life...two small phone calls to remind me of two of the greatest gifts that God has given me...I am so humbled and thankful by His love, grace, and sovereignty <3

With Love as Always,
Rach
“Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them” Deuteronomy 4:9

Going where the wind takes us

There are times in life that directions change and we move into a new area of life that we are unsure of, or just skeptical of...maybe because we don't know what God is doing, or maybe we didn't consult Him in the "move". I have been in both of these positions in my lifetime, and I am sure I will again..although I hope not to be in the "didn't consult Him" to often.
As I sit and think of what and how to share, "my song" of the year is playing on Klove in the background.."All I know is I'm not home yet..this is not where I belong..take this world and give me Jesus..this is not where I belong"...and I have tears in my eyes..
what a glorious feeling to know that I am foreign to this world, I am not a child of the earth, I am a child of GOD, the one and only <3
I don't know about you, but I get chills as I think of belonging to an amazing Father who created me for His purpose..I have a purpose, not by accident, but by design! Just keeps me in AWE of the love He has for me and for all of us <3
Over the last few months, since Christmas really, God has been pulling on my heart to hear Him, and I would think I did and I would start to walk in the direction of His voice, and then I would hear something else...talk about frustration and sadness...I thought I was seeking Him, and I didn't understand what He was doing. I could SEE Him, I could hear what I thought was Him, I would talk to Him, plead for answers to what changes were happening...and then it came...
God spoke to my husband, and through my husband..and there was no doubts, no noise, no question about where God was leading me, leading our family, and speaking to my husband <3
I would have to say this has been the most beautiful experience I have had...and I can't truly put into words what this means <3 but our direction, not mine, our direction as a family has been shifted..what the time frame looks like is only something God can see, but with my husband leading, we are obedient and patient as we move forward one small step at a time <3
Over the last few months there have been so many family changes as we lead up to this moment, which is so new...but we have been blessed to experience poverty through our daughter who was homeless for the weekend last month, and we cried as we learned our son now has ADHD, but rejoiced in God's Sovereignty...we have celebrated with friends and family in their adoption direction, and feel humbled to get to be a small piece in their lives to be included in this...we have cried as we found out friends who have a child with a similar heart defect would be undergoing a surgery, but we prayed and trust that God holds everyone of His children through everything...we've praised God as we see our son functioning in a classroom, even as he has one to one help, he is there..and as the overwhelming realities sat in with some changes I cried to my husband who graciously stepped up and in where he was needed and prayed to God as He moved me through these things....this last weekend I sat with 200 beautiful women at our retreat and watched God work first hand in one after another lives...laughter, tears, rejoicing, and friendship <3 as we reflected His Holiness and learned what that looks like in day to day life...all while praising Him...and sitting in His glorious truths this last week as new ideas and realities have overturned, I can only feel JOY...and today I dropped off our Bug to go work with Missions in Houston for the week..and I beamed as she text on their way out "I am sooo very excited!!!!!!!!"...she knows God has big plans....
so many more things, but sitting with Him, knowing He is leading...He is showing us where He wants us to go, and with His strength, promises, courage, joy, trust, faith (I can go on)....we are following where the wind takes us ..where His Spirit leads us <3 so while I don't have details to share at this time, I can ask for your prayers when you think of our family, just pray we continue to seek Him, His will, His direction <3
Love Always, Rach

"The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear the sound of it, but cannot tell where it comes from and where it goes. So is everyone who is born of the Spirit."

John 3:8

I have a HIGHSCHOOLER?!?!

So I may seem a little delayed in this discovery...as she has been in highschool for the past 4+months..but REALLY, my baby girl is in highschool...just wow
We are ending our CHRISTmas break and the kiddos head back tomorrow...it seems to quick, and yet I know I was ready for the decorations to come down and life to get back to "normal", and yet I am sad as the music goes back and the days will become scheduled...seems like a piece of my heart is going away tomorrow...
partly because my JJ will be starting his new school, which is such a God led move, but it is still something "new" and both of us will need time to adjust with this, but we will...and then my Bug goes back to HIGHSCHOOL, yes I have to put this is all caps, I still can't believe it! Every time I tell someone I just shake my head a little bit...she is in highschool, seems so crazy, but she is....
I realize the last time I wrote was in July, WOW, I always intend to get on here more, maybe one day I will be a "true" blogger, or maybe God will just have me stay the occasional writer who "blogs" here and there..I don't know, I don't know what this new year brings...but I know God has some big plans, as He had this last year...
2011 was amazing...in a small recap, if I can do anything small:

-MAJOR healing in friendships and life
-I GOT A HIGHSCHOOLER ;-p
-JJ has had the BEST heart check-ups since birth!
-I lost over 100 pounds!!! This was ALL God and this journey continues!
-My husband and me grew closer and more  open to one another
-I am in TEXAS STATE! ahhh
-Closer with family <3 LOVE THIS
-Many new people and friendships!!!
-There were many "firsts" for me and our family
-We got a DOG!
-Fabi and I went ZIPLINING (we go again this year, on a BIG course, ekk)
-I learn more every year about who I am in Christ and learn to love the woman I am and growing to be,    reminding myself I am a work in progress, so NEVER looking at who I was, but accepting the forgiveness and moving on
-Many tears....while I stay filled with joy always, this doesn't mean I don't have bad moments or sad moments..but I can't recall them to even share, through God I learn to give those days to Him and not dwell in them, but dwell in HIM!
-Kel got braces (Yay), JJ lost a toenail (GROSS)
-Fabi started working out too, and has motivated me to move more as I motivated him to eat better!

And i could go on, but did say short...mostly I look back at the year and thank God, wow! He has taken me and grown me in many ways, and while I resisted, He persisted and didn't give up...when i failed He didn't condemn me, He picked me up and loved me...
this is an attribute I pray I can have one day for all of those around me...there were easy days and hard days, and I am thankful for both....there are nights I went to bed thankful and humbled by the choices I made...and nights I went to bed trying to justify the choices, only to be humbled and asking forgiveness for them....just like anyone else!
But 2011 was amazing and I am happily moving into 2012....
God gave me a word last year "willing"...that was my one word...He showed me many versions of what it looked like, and I followed..
I prayerfully accept the word He has given me for this year "Faith-Driven"...not passive, but a verb, action! Wow, God!
Through Him I will explore and discover what this means, and is...what He is preparing me for, I don't know, but He does and I will walk (actively) in Faith, and be Driven by His desires for that walk!
I am still praying for a verse to go with this, I know He has it, I just have to be still and active (??!?!?!) to find it or hear Him <3
Love you All <3
Rach