BIG Miracles STILL happen

Yesterday was my first day back for Spring semester (college)..and I have 2 classes on this day and 1 on Fridays..but yesterdays classes were Geology and Biology...

Honestly, these "science" fields are not something I am overly interested in, BUT with the recent events in Haiti, I found a different perspective to my Geology as we just touched on this...

and then Biology is about "Living Planet" so LIFE...and both will actually go together very nicely, and I was excited..

I had to rush after to get my Bio book because they only made a limited number (hand made ones from ACC) and Fabian was so kind to get JJ...

I spoke briefly on the phone to him and he told me JJ had a good day , WHEW relief..then he shares it was kinda weird because he laid down for 2hrs but never slept, but never got up and Oh a kid went home sick..

I was in "book" hunting mode so I said "huh weird, well guess we will watch him"

The night continued and was super busy and JJ seemed just fine, I even took them for a playdate at McD's and he was okay...

It wasn't until I was sitting STILL, in his room, dark and soft music playing while I rubbed his head (this is a new bed routine to rub his head, but he falls asleep so quickly and sweet and it is truly a blessing) and I looked at him..

out of no where I think he might be breathing funny..I put my head down onto his chest and listen to his heartbeat...

Is it to slow? Is it always skip the beat there?

He has a permanent murmur, ofcourse, and his heartbeat has a rhythm of its own..which is truly fitting for JJ..but what came next I never expected...

I began to cry..

not tears, SOBS..I found myself sobbing over my son last night.

This isn't the first time, but I didn't see this one coming..

but I felt God, right there, HOLDING me as I sobbed over my son..

and that is when I CRIED out to Him..

"God please HEAL my son"

I cried this over and over..I held my hand on his chest and cried that God would heal my son in Jesus name...that I BELIEVE with every ounce of my body and soul that if it is God's will He CAN AND WILL heal JJ fully..

then I put my hand on JJ's head (both of these were fully led by the Holy Spirit)

and asked God to heal him..that He would take away the uncontrollable behaviors...that He would help JJ to speak out his feelings and understand himself better...

I have never prayed like this for my child...not because I doubted God can do this..but to backtrack a little bit..

when I was pregnant I prayed for healing, and God DID it! JJ was suppose to have all these additional problems ON TOP of half his heart and they were GONE..GONE to the point that baffled doctors..not me, I KNEW what God had done..

and because I think JJ's Autism is what makes him JJ, and I don't think it is a "disease" I haven't ever wanted to ask for healing..

see I thought God had DONE His healing with JJ's heart, and never realized I had taken that away from Him..that somehow i thought not realizing it, that God wouldn't KEEP healing JJ..

and with JJ's Autism I thought since this is how God designed JJ that I shouldn't ask for Him to change that...

BUT last night God spoke, and held me..

HE IS STILL IN THE BUSINESS OF BIG MIRACLES!!!!!!!

I see the miracles in each day, and I credit God for EVERYTHING in my life!

But without even knowing I had stopped asking for Him to heal my son, and never wanted to seem "ungrateful" for asking for more..

WHAT??!?!?! I know...but I don't think this is so uncommon...

Last night, without any hesitation I PRAYED over my son, I wept tears only a broken mother could weep..I wept tears like Mary wept over Jesus..

and I KNEW God understood..I knew He cried with me..and YET because He saw my heart open to His miracles..I KNEW He and the heavens rejoiced!!

I will pray daily that God will FULLY HEAL my son..whatever that looks like, and whatever God's will is..I am not putting expectations, I am not looking for anything specific..

I am acting is COMPLETE PURE FAITH..that I serve a MIGHTY, POWERFUL, LOVING, God who CAN and if it is HIS WILL for JJ, heal him completely..all I am suppose to do is PRAY for that miracle..and whether I see it in THIS lifetime or not, I KNOW and TRUST that God's plan for our family is PERFECT..and he WILL be healed!

I serve a God who LOVES more than I can imagine..who LOVES my children MORE than me, which seems hard to grasp..who KNEW that JJ needed ME to be his mom..who KNEW 6+ years ago that I would weep for my son last night, and HE WAS READY TO HOLD ME and LOVE me through that..

I serve a God who has BLESSED me with my VERY Best Friend in my husband, who matched us up, despite US..and who kept us going when we had NOTHING LEFT for one another..that is a BIG Miracle, HUGE Miracle in itself...

I serve a God who gave me a PRECIOUS baby girl in Kelli..He KNEW I needed her as much as she would need me, and SHE is a LIGHT in my life..having her young saved ME, and God KNEW that is what it would take..although I may not talk about her in prayer needs, pray for her JUST as much, because she walks through this with us..I have been blessed to have a bond with her that this world can NOT break..

I serve a God who has surrounded me with beautiful Christian woman and friends, ones who come along and help carry my load when it is heavier than I can hold..prayer warriors, servants, giving their heart to me and loving me through EVERY moment I walk in..they come along on the joy filled days and the tear filled ones..

I SERVE A GOD WHO IS STILL IN THE BUSINESS OF PERFORMING MIRACLES..He is waiting for us to ask, and asking us to TRUST HIS TIMING FULLY!!!

What an awesome God I serve! And for the sorrow in my heart last night I STAND IN PRAISE to God, who held me, loved me..but He didn't stop there, He OPENED my heart to a NEW LEVEL of intimacy with HIM..I am in AWE!!!

I will pray to

JEHOVAH-ROPHE:"The Lord Who Heals"

"Look to the Lord and His strength, seek His face always. Remember the wonders He has done, His MIRACLES, and the judgments He pronounced..." 1 Chronicles 16:11-12

"But they, our forefathers, became arrogant and stiff-necked, and did not obey your commands.They refused to listen and failed to remember the MIRACLES you performed among them... But you are a forgiving God, gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love. Therefore You did not desert them..." Nehemiah 9:16-18

"But if it were I, I would appeal to God; I would lay my cause before Him. He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, MIRACLES that cannot be counted" Job 5:8-9

"Your ways, O God, are holy. What god is so great as our God? You are the God who performs MIRACLES; you display your power among the peoples" Psalm 77:13-14

"The Jews gathered around him, saying, "How long will you keep us in suspense? If you are the Christ,tell us plainly." Jesus answered, "I did tell you, but you do not believe. The MIRACLES I do in my Father's name speak for me, but you do not believe because you are not my sheep" John 10:24-26

"God did extraordinary MIRACLES through Paul..." Acts 19:11

"I will not venture to speak of anything except what Christ has accomplished through me in leading the Gentiles to obey God by what I have said and done—by the power of signs and MIRACLES, through the power of the Spirit. So from Jerusalem all the way around to Illyricum, I have fully proclaimed the gospel of Christ. It has always been my ambition to preach the gospel where Christ was not known, so that I would not be building on someone else's foundation" Romans 15:18-20

MIRACLE AFTER MIRACLE AFTER MIRACLE..and these are ONLY a few..and they ARE STILL performed today!!! I am in AWE!